Obituary of Gisela Haber

Gisela Haber Age 93, passed away on Sunday , July 10. Predeceased by her husband, Dr. Joseph J. Haber and son, Stanley J. Haber. Survived by her daughters, Judith & Lynn (Steven); sister, Lily; 9 grandchildren; 6 great grandchildren; nieces, nephews and many friends. Gisela and her husband, Joseph, and much of their family escaped Nazi controlled Vienna. Finally settling in Rochester for 66 years, Gisi was active in community service, volunteering for the Rochester Symphony Orchestra and serving as president of the women's medical auxiliary of Rochester. Funeral Services will be held TUESDAY, July 12th at 1 PM at Brighton Memorial Chapel, 3325 Winton Road South. Interment Mt. Hope Cemetery. The family will receive friends at the Summit, Tuesday & Wednesday 7-9 PM. Click for a Map to the Summit Judy’s Eulogy Gisela Juffy Haber – Giettle Who was she – I knew her as a person of enormous strength; strength of character, strength of will, strength of purpose. She was a person who loved experiencing new things; new places, new people; most of all a new day and all that it might hold. Gisela truly cared deeply about the people in her life – new and old. Family and close friends were what made her life full. Only a week ago she told me “that from” my perspective (and it’s a long one) there is nothing in life as important as family and close friends --- “actually”, she said, “there is nothing else of value.” My mom was a very private person who kept her deepest hurts inside; in part, so as to not create pain in those around her. Yet she also had a great sense of humor. She enjoyed a good joke, even occasionally one on herself. Most of all Gisela, my mom, was my teacher, a shining example of how to live …….. and how to die. In these last few months of her life I learned more about dignity, selflessness, love and consideration for others, than I ever deemed possible. Just a few days ago she told me that she felt that she had led a full and interesting life. That there had certainly been some down times but that they had dealt with them as best as they could. “I think I was a good mother – I certainly loved all my children dearly. I have no regrets. I love living – I love life – but I can’t live this way in pain anymore.” There was a long pause… “Tell me she said with a smile, do you think that once you go (Gisela gestures thumbs down towards the ground), you ever come up again?” (Gisela gestures thumbs up.) “That would be nice.” Who was Gisela Haber? I think that Lauren, my brother Stanley’s daughter said it most eloquently in a letter she recently wrote to mom. With her permission I quote: “There was a time when you held me, as a baby, and cared for me when my mother was ill. You cared for us both. That is what you do, what you’ve always done – you love and nurture people around you as if each of them was your very own child. Every person you love becomes your family, and you’ve always said that family is most important. Your family is infinite. Your family is scattered across the world, the country, the Summit dining room, and the breakfast table. Your family spans the living, the dead and the unborn, who will one day enter the world and love you because your strength and beauty will be in their blood.” We all knew her a little differently; and in our hearts each of us will carry our own Gisela Haber. Hesped for Omi – Gisela Haber Rabbi Gary Pokras 12 July 2011 I don’t even know how many times I have spoken at funerals, and it is never easy. But today is different. Today I speak not as a rabbi, but as a mourner; and not for myself, but for all of those in our family who were fortunate enough to know Gisi as “Omi” – her grandchildren and great grandchildren: Shauna, Steve, Dana, John, Mike, Hannah, Lauren, Ashley and Jennifer; Allie, Ben, Jackie, Maddie, Stephanie and Marshall; and Lara, Matt and myself (by marriage). Omi was an amazing grandmother. Loving, playful, devoted and genuinely interested in each of her grandkids and great grandchildren. Shauna first introduced me to Omi and Opa before we were even engaged, and I was instantly smitten. They travelled all the way to Israel to spend some time with us, which should not be a surprise to anyone here. If there is a theme to Omi’s relationships with her grandchildren, it was her deep love for them and her desire to meet them wherever they were – physically, emotionally and spiritually. When Dana was young, she would travel by herself on an airplane to visit Omi and Opa. Every morning for the week Dana would wake up to the sound and smell of bacon sizzling in the pan. This was a big deal because Dana loved bacon, but could never have it at home on account of her Dad’s special diet. So Omi would make sure that Dana could eat as much as she wanted every morning. And young little Dana made sure to make the most of the opportunity! With Steve she would go to the pitch and put near the cottage by Canandaigua Lake. Not because she liked golf, but because he did. She was perfectly happy to walk along side of him while he played. As for John, he demonstrated his uncanny sense of direction at the age of five, correcting Omi while she was driving home from the store. When he was older she called him her personal chauffeur and told everyone that when he came to town she wouldn’t even get a glimpse of her car keys until he left. Hannah enjoyed speaking in German with Omi and hearing stories about Austria when Omi was growing up. Shauna dreamed with Omi about one day growing up and getting married in the back yard of their beautiful old house on Harwood Lane, and has been telling me about their famous trip to Italy together for as long as I’ve known her. Mike especially remembers how Omi would bounce him on her knees to “chupe, chupe reiter” – a marvelous ritual that I was blessed to witness her share with my own children. Of course there were the things she loved to do, such as playing cards. She taught her grandkids how to play Gin-Rummy but did not let them win. They had to earn it! Dana never once beat Omi once at cards, not even as an adult, although she did eventually win at Scrabble. To be fair, however, English was Omi’s second language. Omi also loved to cook, and her grandchildren would sit in her kitchen and watch her. Shauna said that Omi was the best soupmaker she has ever met and Steve is grateful that the whole family got the benefit of Judy’s cooking, which she learned from Omi. Of all the grandchildren, however, it may very well be Lauren who had the most intense and meaningful relationship with Omi. Omi practically adopted Lauren when Lauren’s mother passed. Lauren was, I believe, three and a shalf at the time. Omi also adopted Lauren’s camp friends, who she carefully instructed to be Lauren’s friends at the beginning of that first summer at Camp Seneca Lake. Lauren’s friends would come to visit even when Lauren was out of town. Again, this should be no surprise: she also adopted her other grandchildren’s college friends, whom she met when she would come to visit her grandchildren at college – sometimes even staying in the dorm! Lauren describes her adult life as a series of visits to Omi, planning on when she would see Omi and Opa next when she was between visits. Omi could have that kind of impact on a person, because she was a true people person. Blessed with many friends and shamelessly proud of her family, Omi could find the best in a person, and once she did, she would let you know about it! She was, in many ways, truly selfless – finding her joy by giving to others. She was intimately involved with planning Lauren’s wedding to Matt, and it was then that Lauren learned that saying “yes” to Omi was as much a gift to her as it was to the recipient of her giving. Lauren couldn’t even imagine getting married without her. I will never forget how proud Omi was to ‘walk’ Lauren down the aisle, and how frightened I was by the speed of her wheelchair. She was so excited to bring Lauren to the chuppah! Omi gave and gave, even in these last few months. Lauren was deeply impressed with the grace Omi showed while facing her impending death, and how she would nonchalantly say goodbye to her friends and family, to force an opening for meaningful communication. While at first, this may have been uncomfortable and even off-putting, Lauren came to realize that this was in fact a gift. Omi’s openness and acceptance of her condition helped to comfort those around her, so that they could find the same grace. It was an extraordinary gift to give. Of course, this shouldn’t be a surprise either. This was the kind and giving person Omi was. As Michael puts it: “I’m glad to have known and loved her – she loved so many people.” I couldn’t agree with him more. Now that I’m gone, remember me with a smile and laughter. And if you need to cry, cry with your brother or sister Who walks in grief beside you. And when you need me, put your arms around anyone and give to them what you need to give to me. There are so many who need so much. I want to leave you something. Something much better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I’ve known and loved or helped in some special way. Let me live in your heart as well as your mind. You can love me most by letting your love reach out to our loved ones. By embracing them and living in their love. Love does not die, people do. So, when all that’s left of me is love, give me away as best you can. ~~Author Unknown~~ Home Rochester, New York Birthplace Vienna Austria Donations In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the: