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The family of Goldee E. Hecht-Meyer uploaded a photo
Tuesday, August 21, 2018
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Kim O'Connor / Tim O'Connor posted a condolence
Saturday, August 29, 2009
It was a our plesure to meet and get to know Goldee. To bad the time was so short.
L
Lois Hecht Oppenheim posted a condolence
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Here is the eulogy I gave at my sister's memorial service:
My sister. My beautiful, strong, determined, rebel sister. My older sister. My only sibling. That says it all. A special relationship. A special connection.
We didn’t always feel that way. Lots of sibling rivalry. Different personalities. Two sisters, two years apart in age, growing up together. Our Mom used to call us “L-Goldee” and “G-Lois.” It became a family joke. We shared many characteristics, but we were also very different. We shared many values, but we carved out very different lives. But we knew we loved each other, and we did the hard work it takes to work through differences to reach a place of deep understanding. It was a gift we gave to each other, and to ourselves. I will always treasure that.
As adults, Goldee and I had many plans about how we could spend time together. Goldee loved to travel, and we looked forward to trips together -- we talked about going to China, to Slovenia and eastern/central Europe (which was supposed to happen last summer), to return to Chile (where we’d been in 1997) and also travel in South America (that was supposed to happen this summer);
we had a book project that we were going to do together -- Goldee providing the photos and me the text.
So many plan, so many hopes. When she got sick they all went by the boards.
We were just two sisters loving each other, holding on to each other through the course of her illness, and it was then that we began to realize just how precious that gift of deep mutual understanding had been. It would stand us in good stead throughout her illness. We could be honest with each other; talk about difficult issues; and we could simply love each other. And we did. I treasure those times.
Many of you here knew my sister through her photographic and other artistic work and her volunteerism. These were crucial aspects of who she was and how she saw herself. But I know others will talk about those activities. I want to talk about my sister--the person I grew up with, and maybe provide some insights into how she became the adult you all knew.
My sister was unique. She wasn’t always an easy person to be with.
she could be hermetic, closed off,
she could be bossy (hey, she was my older sister!),
she could be loudly opinionated (that came from her passionate beliefs) and, when we were growing up, she and our Mom fought a lot.
But we shared a history that no one else could share. We could talk about our parents, and laugh about their quirks, and we could share stories of family life and family trips.
We were sometimes co-conspirators ---like the time during our 1960 trip to Europe when we were young teens (G was14 and me 12). We had decided to take an ashtray from each hotel we stayed in. The trip started in London, then Paris, down to s. France, into Italy and down to Venice. It was in Venice, near the end of the trip, that we were discovered by our mother. We were having trouble closing the suitcase, which was half-filled with hotel ashtrays, and our Mom came in to see what the problem was. She opened up the suitcase and a pile of little ashtrays came tumbling out! Oh boy, trouble.
Or the time I called my sister when I was in college and asked her to support me at a family dinner where I was bringing home a boyfriend I thought our parents wouldn’t approve of. Who better to support you in those times than your sister?
We could comfort each other – I remember during the trip across country before we both went off to college – our folks couldn’t find a place to sleep one night and we ended up at a little motel that G and I thought was creepy. So we slept together, hugging each other as protection against unknown and unseen dangers.
We both partook of many of the same extra-curricular activities and even had some of the same friends. We were in the HS band and orchestra and we both took piano and dance lessons. However – it became clear early on that we had different talents. I was better at piano and she at dance. In fact, she excelled in dance. As time went on Goldee wanted to become a professional dancer, but our parents didn’t think that was appropriate. Go to college! She talked to me about it recently: her disappointment that she couldn’t become a professional dancer but instead went into a dance therapy program at Univ. of Wisconsin. But she was able to work in the field of dance for a number of years before developing further her other artistic areas of expression, especially photography.
Goldee and I also shared our family’s values -- internationalism; multiculturalism; fighting for social justice; working to make the world a better place. These were value we learned from our parents.
Internationalism was part of our growing up experience -- Our parents sent each of us to a foreign country for a summer, under the auspices of the Experiment in International Living. The summer after her senior year in HS Goldee lived with a family in Orizaba, Mexico and she relished the experience, feeling part of the family. She learned a lot of Spanish that summer, and even years later looked back on that experience with great fondness.
The fight for social justice --Goldee certainly applied this ideal throughout her life, as all of you so well know. But you probably don’t know the story of how Goldee tried to join the Freedom Riders in Selma, Alabama. This was when she was in college @ U of Wisconsin and I still in HS. She called home one morning --before I had gone to school -- to tell my mother that she was getting on a bus that was going to the south in support of civil rights. My mother, although a good liberal, was freaked out...people had been killed...she was worried about Goldee. And Goldee wasn’t calling to ask permission. She was calling to inform, just before she got on the bus. I remember my mother was so freaked out that she actually called a radio psychologist - Dr. Rose Franzblau - to ask her why G. was doing this. The answer: she was just taking the values she’d been taught and applying them. Postscript: Goldee’s bus didn’t actually end up in the south. There were too many, apparently.....so they were detoured elsewhere.
In college, Goldee also met Peter, her first husband, and soon embarked on the next phase of her life as wife and mother...of Lewis and Aviva. She also taught dance at Penn St. U. Those were busy years in State College PA.
But Goldee never stopped growing, and she decided to go back to school and get a Masters’ degree in Arts Administration. She was accepted to the program in Brooklyn College and completed it with flying colors.
Slowly, as she developed her professional life more fully, I believe she began to find the passions that would mark her years in Rochester as well as the personal style we grew to know so well-- her earring and clothes collection are testimony to and an external manifestation of her unique style. And she always had a “presence,” enhanced by her dancer’s way of standing and moving. You knew when Goldee was in the room.
But it was in Rochester that Goldee really found her “home” and her creative core. Remarried to Bill Barton, a loving husband, she worked for the Arts Council for Greater Rochester, in the community darkroom, and, more recently, with the Ronald McDonald house. She was flourishing, with so many plans for the future.
When Goldee was diagnosed last June with ovarian cancer, my sister put up a determined fight. She wanted to live, to enjoy, to continue her artistic and community activities, and she stayed engaged until the end. And over the long months of her illness, her Rochester friends proved themselves to be incredible friends, bringing food, stopping by to chat, asking what they could do to help. They -- you all, sitting here today -- are also part of this life story. As Goldee’s sister, I want to thank each and every one of you for your many acts of kindness and love to my sister.
Goldee faced her illness squarely and resolutely, as she had done with other things in her life. I told her how proud I was to be her sister, how awed I was by the way she dealt with her cancer, and, virtually every day, how much I loved her.
I will miss her terribly.
S
Sal Madonna posted a condolence
Friday, August 7, 2009
Every July Goldee produced the Home Arts Show of the Monroe County Fair, assembling a wide range of arts and crafts exhibits from youth and adults in our community. I knew her only working next door on the flower and vegetable show. She struck me as a creative and extraordinary person, someone with a wide range of interests and talents. I was sad to hear of her passing. We will miss dearly.
M
Mary E. Zeiner posted a condolence
Friday, August 7, 2009
By special request, here is a little something I read to Goldee's family: In the summer of 1985, I was doing what my mother did and her mother before her. I had already gotten married, left my job when I had my first child, and was expecting my second child. I kissed my husband goodbye at the door each morning as I sent him off to work, then I spent my day cleaning, watching soap operas, taking my daughter to play dates and visiting with other mothers in my neighborhood who were home also.
And then came Goldee. The house next door suddenly became a fascinating place. Goldee was ten years older than me, a divorcee with two young teens who was just about to remarry. Her children never seemed to be home for long. They were off to school in England or spending time at a kibbutz in Israel among other adventures. Our two houses became a commune of sorts. We weren't even surprised when we'd drive up our driveway to find Bill and Goldee entertaining guests on our deck.
Goldee was easy to hang around with. I know she probably silently tsk-tsked my 'Donna Reed' existence and wished that I would embrace feminism. At the same time, I was shaking my head about her seemingly devil-may-care lifestyle. For example, I never could figure out what activities were her real jobs and what activities were hobbies or volunteer work. I could talk to Goldee about anything and knew that I would get advice based on her life experiences. In fact, just a few days before she died, she was instructing me on how to handle a family matter. I hung on every word.
I have to interrupt myself right here. I've decided that right now is the time when I have to forgive Goldee for one thing that she never realized she did to me. Several years ago, I was enjoying myself at a neighbor's backyard party. It was a hot, humid day (ladies, you know what that does to your hair), I had had a few too many Coronas, and I was contentedly munching on chips and dip. How do I remember this so well?
Because several months later, I attended the opening of one of Goldee's black and white photography exhibits. Yup! There I was in all my glory but in black and white (and I have never looked good in black and white). And with a price tag on the matted photo, to boot!
My husband consoled me saying that no one would ever buy a black and white photograph of a slightly overweight, bordering on middle-aged, slightly tipsy, frizzy-haired woman in mid-munch. However, art is subjective, so I worried.
Fortunately, the City of Rochester, despite some of its public art, did show some good taste, and the photo was not purchased. Goldee later presented it to me. It is now prominently displayed at the bottom of a box of 90's-era clothing up in my attic.
My sister once said "If you don't like a picture of yourself, put it in a drawer and take it out again in ten years; you'll love it." Not this time!
So, Goldee, I formally forgive you for that one lapse of judgement. If that didn't cost us our friendship, nothing would!
It hit me a few years ago that I want to grow up to be like Goldee. I can't get away with her fashion sense. I also doubt I'll ever have the energy to take on as many projects as Goldee did. There were weeeks on end when the only time I'd see Goldee was when she was backing her car out of the driveway to go to one of her many activities. But, I can live my life with confidence, grace and humor, and face any roadblocks with the same courage and aplomb as she did. At least I hope I can.
F
From Goldee's Journal posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
On July 9, Goldee wrote:
The Clan’s all here
We met and talked about Memorial Service…
I hope it ends up being a good party
I want people to laugh as well as cry
There should be joy in Death as well as sadness
It is the beginning of a new journey for me
I have been so lucky to have the support & love of so many people
They helped to lighten the load and reminded me that what goes around comes around
J
Jessica Zeiner posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I am very sorry that I missed the celebration of your life. You were always a great neighbor and a fabulous person. I aim to be as strong and creative and independent of a person as you. I thank you for taking so many pictures of us as kids playing out on the street. Especially the one of me and the hot guy Chris (which I am STILL waiting for a copy--its only been 15 years! ;-)
I will remember you and your beautiful gardens forever!
-Jessica
R
Rebecca Barton-Haussling posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Aunt Goldee was always a walking art collection! She always had the best jewelry and a funky sense of style. She really knew how to pull off the "bohemian chic" with class and sophistication.
I will always admire her for her enthusiasm, her "joie de vivre," but most importantly, for her charitable contributions.
She was loved and admired.
Love, Rebecca & Nick
D
Dawn & Steve Parkison posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
We feel so glad to have known Goldee these past ten years. She brought so many interesting and fun things to us by sharing her passions, well, passionately! She brought such a lovely spark to our lives. We and our kids will miss her very much. She was a great friend to each of us.
J
Jennifer Morrill posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I first met Goldie when my daughter was enrolled in her photography class. I met her again when our family moved to Macbeth St
I only knew her for 10 years; but will miss her very much. It was only the past 2 years that I was just starting to have more time to know everyone in the neighborhood. I will miss Goldie; I am fighting a similar battle with cancer; my only hope is that I will be as graceful and dignified when my time comes.
V
Victor and Sandra Grasso posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Though we knew Goldee in a limited capacity over the past few years, we recognized a creative woman with strong convictions. She will be missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
M
Mary Flower posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I first met the Meyer family 30 odd years ago through a man I was dating at the time. Goldee and I soon discovered we had much in common, including the same birthday and that we were University of Wisconsin graduates. My daughter and I and the Meyer family became fast friends, a friendship that has continued through the years. Since hearing the news of Goldee's death so many many memories have come floating back of times spent in State College and Queens and other places. It is hard to think of her as no longer with us but I am sure she is now at peace and all the memories remain bright and happy.
P
Peter Meyer posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I’ve known Goldee longer than Lewis and Aviva, so I thought I’d share some memories.
The Goldee I knew was many things that most of you never encountered:
?A Freedom Rider in the early Sixties, diverted to political work in Washington, DC
?A Dance major at University of Wisconsin-Madison
?The main arts critic/reviewer for the campus paper there for two years
?Able to talk her boyfriend into touring with her in Wisconsin Dance Theatre
?A devoted student of comparative anatomy who dissected a cat on her dining room table -- and ate with her partner at the other end
?A skilled political operative, working for Eugene McCarthy in 1968
?An avid worker for civil rights and anti-Vietnam War campaigner
?An enthusiastic and skilled camper – great at putting up a tent and building a fire
?An earlier ‘women’s libber', but never a man-hater
?An excellent kitchen redesigner, skilled with the hand tools needed to do the job
?A member of the City Charter Commission in the 1970s that designed the Home Rule Charter under which State College, PA operates to this day
?A proponent of Lamaze prepared childbirth, using it to deliver Lewis and Aviva and teaching classes in the technique
?A member of the Executive Committee of the Union for Radical Political Economics in the early Seventies
?A Democratic committee-woman whose nursing of offspring at political events helped build a bridge between the university folk and the farmers of Central Pennsylvania
?A rebuilder of Volkswagen carburators and VW Bus mechanic of sorts
?A woman who watched her spouse catch on fire while priming the VW bus, and helped him put out the flames
?A teacher in a progressive cooperative K-12 “one-room schoolhouse” school
?A homemaker who, with her husband, made her own butter from raw milk, provided by the dairy-farming family that babysat for Aviva, and baked as many as eight loaves of bread a week
?The Chief Operating Officer (I forgot her title) of the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts for two years
?A steam train enthusiast
?An extremely strong person, who – unlike her spouse - did not nearly faint in the hospital when her daughter was being treated after being hit by a car
?A dance teacher in State College, PA
?A great lover of lobster, especially in that land-locked college town
?An aficionado of the music and musicality of the late ‘JB’ who played in that town
?A strong believer in no-fault divorce who worked long hours at creating a divorce agreement with her spouse that would satisfy them both and protect their children .....
We all grow and change, and those of us who marry young run the greatest risk of growing apart. Goldee and I did so, becoming very different people and no longer capable of successfully sharing our lives. Our divorce was tainted by the fact that we were forced to each have our own lawyer, and those individuals – to earn their fees, I guess – sowed seeds of disagreement over a plan we had spent 30- months together developing.
Goldee and I overcame that and long ago agreed that we had both benefited from our split … and you and I shall overcome this loss, of someone who was a part of us and our lives that I came to appreciate more and more in the years after we no longer shared legal responsibilities …
I’ll miss you, Goldee!
J
Jessica, Walter and Fran posted a condolence
Monday, August 3, 2009
We celebrate Goldee’s insatiable thirst for life and her unwillingness to give in. I think we all have witnessed this and are humbled by her honesty and struggle over the last 18 months. Words that come to mind when we think of Goldee –
creativity,
dance,
community,
arts,
friendship,
photography,
darkroom,
exhibitions,
hearty laugh,
two mismatched earrings,
politics,
sharing,
determination,
honesty,
perseverance,
Stubbornness,
graciousiousness,
concern,
caring,
family,
wife,
sister,
mother
grandmother,
niece and
cousin.
I am sure we missed many more.
Goldee, we will all miss you.
With love
Jessica
Walter and Fran
R
Robert and Jane Schneeweiss posted a condolence
Monday, August 3, 2009
For Goldee
Dear Bill, Lewis, Aviva, and Lois:
Having lived in New England most of my adult life… I have been exposed to and stuck by the words of Robert Frost the quintessential New England poet.
Perhaps the most famous lines in a Frost poem are:
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
Now doesn’t that describe my cousin Goldee. I am saddened today as I think what you all, and what we all have lost in her passing.
In my recollection here are some of the roads less traveled by Goldee.
• Dance…. An interesting and an unconventional approach to personal development and an academic career. It looks unusual now… but it sure speaks to getting in touch with oneself.
• Photography… autobiographical. How Goldee saw the world, how she interpreted the world, how she shared the world, how she wanted us to see the world.
• Quirkiness…. Goldee liked being herself. She showed that everyday… her wardrobe was unconventional, and her jewelry was an expression of self.
• Volunteerism …. We are granted the gift of life and in return we are to leave this world a better place. Service to others is the rent we play for our earthly stay. Last fall we saw Goldee in action in preparation for the ABC Sale. If service to others is the rent, Goldee could have rented “Boardwalk and Park Place”. She was a confident whirlwind. In fact she would have made her Mother Ruth look like a slacker.
• Honesty .... Goldee’s CaringBridge Journal is an amazing testament to TRUTH, COURAGE, and VISION. Goldee was a member of a generation that insists on experiencing each life opportunity. Goldee took on her illness with the openness that role modeled for an aging generation. I can only hope that many can follow Goldee’s brave example.
You have all suffered a great loss… and the space that Goldee leaves will only enlarge with time. You will discover more and more things to miss her by. That being said your relationship with Goldee does not end it only changes. Daily you will draw on wonderful memories, funny thoughts, and her intense example.
You have been though a most difficult situation… but you did it right… with attention, concern, honesty, and love.
So embrace each other, be honest, serve others, and dance. It will honor Goldee in the best of ways.
From 3000 miles away I am with you.
Love,
Robert
M
Mary and Charles Zeiner posted a condolence
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and neighbor the past 25 years. You certainly made life more interesting! We'll just pretend you are in California from now on.
S
Sharon Iranpour posted a condolence
Monday, August 3, 2009
I deeply regret Goldee's illness and passing and extend condolences to her entire family.
Visitation
Following the service, a period of mourning will be observed at 57 MacBeth St., Tuesday, 4-8 PM and Wednesday, 1-3 & 6-8 PM.
Service Info
A Memorial Service will be held Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 1:30 PM at Temple B'rith Kodesh (2131 Elmwood Ave.).
Interment
Private
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